Life lately have been a bit weird. On one hand I am having a blast at my assignment at H&M and on the other I have this feeling of being unfulfilled. I can not really put my finger on it, but there is something inside that is just so very tired right now.
Trying to make sense of this duality is usually a futile exercise since I am very much a duality person. I am extrovert and introvert, Intellectual and creative and so on. My very personality is a continuous conflict and cooperation between my dual natures.
Still I am a bit concern about this lack of energy that has caused me to pretty much removed all social activities an engagements outside of work. Still I have this feeling of being drained of energy. Most likely it is because I am frustrated over time in general (late 40 year crisis perhaps?), but I also feel unfocused.
Feeling unfocused is common for me and it happens every 3-6 months or so when my mind try to shift in one direction or the other. For a week or so I will be restless and not able to focus on an interest until my mind has shifted over. This time however it has been a little more than that and I struggle a bit to get past it.
It's also typical that the universe try to counter my attempts to become a social hermit. So far I have 3 internal requests to educate and hold presentations on how to promote yourself online. I also have several requests to become more involved with Atlassian coming from the Atlassian team. I even got an invite to Barcelona this fall for the Atlassian European Summit.
On one hand I am pretty much at the best moment in my life doing what I love most. On the other hand I am at a pretty low point feeling strangely lost and tired. It's a very strange feeling and I will have to figure out a way to break it. I'll start by taking a long vacation and really rest to see if that will help. I am guessing it will, but in case it does not then I'll figure something else out and go from there.
Life is a strange thing and sometimes you just need to stop for a moment and see where you are going and why.